Glamping

Hello Hello,

I’ve missed you all dearly and it’s been a while since we last spoke. Summer is slowly coming to an end, and my pale skin is counting down the days until the scorching sun takes a very long nap. If I get one more burn this summer, I think I might just fill a bathtub with aloe vera and roll around in it for the year.

Anywho, so I wanted to end summer with a bang, and what better way to do that than to go camping, or shall i say glamping?

Glamping: verb. Glamorous camping. Satisfying your craving for the outdoors and your penchant for a good meal, nice glass of wine, and a comfortable bed.

 Ex. I ain’t sleepin’ in no tent, I’m goin’ glamping!

I think I’ve made it very clear that bugs and racoons just simply ain’t mine or my family’s thing. Instead, we decided to stay at a motel near Sauble Beach, Ontario, and maintain only a semi-casual relationship with nature. The motel was really weird with stains all over the sheets, but on the bright side my best friend and I had quite the giggle session brainstorming the likely scenarios in which the stains originally appeared… I will not go into detail. The motel also had a handy dandy gym that was fully equipped with one chair and an 8-pound weight.

Sauble Beach has such beautiful waters. It’s turquoise with squishy sand at the bottom. To fully embrace the fact that we were glamping, we were sure to bring our floater sofas into the lake. It almost felt like we were in Egypt being carried by four muscular hunks…except not exactly.

One thing that should be noted about me is that I get amused by the smallest things. For instance, camp fires take my level of excitement to another level. While my family continued to ‘glamp’ and eat delivered pizza for dinner, I opted to make corn on the fire. I think I was doing it wrong considering it took 45 minutes…but honestly the cancerous black ashes on the corn were well worth the wait! Oh, and in case you’re worried about whether I had salt and other condiments for the the corn, just remember that my family is absolutely insane. Let’s just say we had six coolers full of pretty much every type of food you can imagine including humus, nectarines, pumpkin seeds, cheesecake etc. We were really preparing some gourmet dishes.

During the day, my best friend and I had lot’s of fun splish-splashing…the only problem, however, was that my dad was back at his normal foolish behaviour. He spent 45 minutes standing as far into the water as he could without getting his shorts wet, while yelling recklessly for me to come closer to shore…wait for the best part…the depth of water where we were situated was up to my pelvic bone. You had to be there.

Although we were thoroughly enjoying Sauble beach, we were really bummed that there were no waves to add an element of thrill (after all, we are such adventurous individuals embarking on a glamping getaway). However…we spoke too soon. We were just drifting in the lake on our floaters and singing California Girls while taking ‘kissy face’ pictures, when out of nowhere it starts hailing and thunder storming uncontrollably. It literally felt like getting poked by needles in my back. To make matters worse, my pansy cousin got scared and somehow let go of one of our floaties and the wind ragingly took it away. So while everyone else was freaking out thinking there was a tornado, I of course went running after the floater. It was a good floater…do not judge. I luckily got back the boat because a kind man on a jet ski rescued it for me, I also managed to score a body surfing board since the ocean was toy central. Everyone had run out of the water in terror and ditched their balls, boats, and boards. I do feel terrible but I really wanted to buy a body board anyways and everyone else had run off the beach…including my family…pansy’s.

That night once the weather chilled out, we went for a walk on the beautiful beach and in the city. Not surprisingly, the dairy queen was the hotspot destination for families at 9:30 pm.

Unfortunately that night we didn’t have a single hour of sleep as my whole family decided to become avid snorers. Like, seriously? You really do not have to try everything once…please do us all the favour…

The next day is when we took the body surfing board out for a spin. The waves were even worse than the previous day as the wind was having a stage 5 seizure. No idea what was going on but it was fun times.

Hilarious trip with great laughs and endless warm showers alongside a marble toilet seat…sounds pretty solid to me. Now if only there was a shopping mall close-by…

Be Healthy, Be Happy, Be Chic.

xx Neda xx

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